The word “boundaries” provokes confusion. Annoyance. Frustration. Fear. It also evokes a sense of mystery, gratitude, productivity and hope. The feelings toward this word are on-going and ever changing.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “boundary” – regarding limit – as a real or imaginary point beyond which a person or thing cannot go.
We create boundaries every day. Take a look at your calendar. We reserve moments to attend classes, complete homework or catch-up with a friend.
Joseph Pak, professor of biblical studies, takes a survey every semester in his Historic Christian Belief class that asks, ‘Where are you in your spiritual journey?’ The last option is: ‘I love the Lord with all my heart.’
Approximately 60% of the class chooses this option.
Taylor students want to serve and love people in their needs, he said.
“I think having said that, of course, drawing boundaries is one of the things that we just need to learn to become more effective servants, to become wiser in our service of other people and our service for the Lord,” Pak said. “I think I can just boil it down to one short sentence, which is: Saying ‘yes’ to everybody, means having to say ‘no’ to the Lord because if you say ‘yes’ to everything then you don't have time to do what the Lord asks you to do.”
The Lord asks us – his followers – to serve and love others before ourselves (Romans 12:10) and make much of what we have been given (Luke 12:48).
Managing our time – our “Yeses” and “Nos” – is a way we can make much of what God has given to us.
“Isn't it crazy that if we look at our calendars and we're making a plan with someone, if we get out of class at 1:50 we've got the next thing right at 2:00?” Julie Borkin, assistant professor of communication, said. “We don't take a moment to go: ‘Will I have eaten? Should I be taking a walk?’”
We just keep jamming more into our schedules. If some margin was left in our schedules, it might reveal what’s life-giving and what’s draining, Borkin said.
Gregory Wolfe, instructor of kinesiology and sport management, said that in his Principles of Coaching class they discuss productivity. The number of tasks a head coach can have is extensive.
“On your schedule, you're trying to be really organized with your time, but you're filling up every minute of the day, but what you had planned is not going to happen,” Wolfe said. “You're always going to have interruptions.”
Wolfe worked for a coach who talked about intentionally scheduling margin – blocks in your day that are blank.
We want to leave time and space for relationships – for those enjoyable interruptions when we interact with a friend or loved one, Wolfe said.
Chad Hofstetter, Taylor University counselor, said when a student is unsure how to navigate the pressures of giving a “Yes” or “No,” he finds balance with the idea of God’s grace.
God knows we're going to make mistakes; he knows ahead of time; he knows when he made us. All he requires is that we see the mistakes and we return to him, Hofstetter said.
“If we give grace to other people, and God gives grace to us, then part of accepting that grace is saying that sometimes we don't have our best self-available all the time,” Hofstetter said. “Sometimes we are tired because we didn't sleep well and so we make mistakes, or we don't have what we need to be this for that person today – and that's okay. God knows it; God gives us grace.”
When we leave no margin for ourselves or others, God’s grace is sufficient. However, God does not call us to be “everything to everyone.” He asks that we make much of what he has given us. Sometimes that takes the form of saying “Yes,” sometimes “No.”
