Ten things you must do to graduate Taylor

By Alyssa Roat | Echo

Graduation is almost upon us. Our graduates have studied, worked, slaved, cried, wailed, despaired, sobbed in library study rooms and tried to drown their sorrows in DC desserts, but with tests taken, classes passed and final projects complete, they have conquered.

Or have they?

Before you walk across the stage, have you completed all the requirements to graduate? Here's a checklist to make sure there isn't anything you've forgotten. And if you're an underclassman, here are the 10 things you'll need to do before you too can graduate.

1. Learn to use the words flourishing, shalom and intentional community in all conversations.

Luckily, you should get a solid foundation in this freshman year. (Foundation. See what we did there?) You're not just "doing well," you're flourishing in the shalom fostered by Taylor's intentional community.

1. Pledge your allegiance to Chick-fil-A.

For four years, Chick-fil-A is going to be one of your six major food groups. By the time you graduate, you should be a Chick-fil-vangelist, calling a fallen world to "eat mor chikin."

1. Devolve into using weird acronyms and nicknames for everything.

You can hear a noob a mile away as soon as they say, "The Dining Commons" or "The Kesler Center." By graduation, you should know how to go from the Deec to the KSAC and then grab some nugs at the stude.

1. Read every book by C. S. Lewis.

Here at Taylor, we confess the divine authority of Christ and the intellectual authority of our theological overlord C. S. Lewis. From celebrating him weekly, to dedicating an entire center to him, to building a bell tower in the image of his good friend J.R.R. Tolkien's character The Eye of Sauron, Taylor falls just short of worshipping Lewis, and you should too.

1. Find your future spouse on a pick-a-date.

This is God's design for dating.

1. Develop a (coffee) drinking problem.

There are ways of developing addictions without breaking the LTC. We may not hold frat parties, but the line at the Bean before chapel is a party all its own.

1. Be featured in the Echo.

Everyone needs their moment of black and white Taylor fame.

1. Try all the flavors at Ivanhoe's.

We know all your money is going toward your crippling debt in student loans, but there are 100 flavors at Ivanhoe's to try. If you want to impress future employers with your dedication, show them your checked-off menu.

1. Get engaged.

Especially if you're a female, you need to earn your MRS degree. Who it is doesn't matter; just make sure they're the opposite gender, they attend Taylor, and their ideal date is Chick-fil-A followed by the Bean.

1. Have the best four (or three or five) years of your life.

(Don't believe us? They'll make sure you know how awful post-graduation is in senior seminar). Enjoy life now, because if there's one thing senior sem taught us, it's that it's all downhill from here.

From the Taylor University Survival Guide, have a great summer and a great life.

Note: Please don't worship other gods (e.g. Chick-fil-A and C. S. Lewis), and we really do think life after graduation will be pretty great. At least, we hope so. This is Alyssa Roat, signing off on the final edition of the Taylor University Survival Guide. Time to go survive the real world.