By Brecken Mumford | Echo
Tuesday night, I saw my dear friend Paige McCourt ('16) for the first time in too long. A beautiful young woman named Patience gave me one of the best hugs I've ever been given, 10 minutes after meeting me. Nirup Alphonse (our Spiritual Renewal speaker) introduced himself and shook my hand. And, senior Andrew Hoff and I finally remembered what class we had together other than interpersonal communication this past spring. You could say it was a good night.
Wednesday was a wonderful day. I saw so many happy faces, there was a lovely gray sky (personal preference), the final Spiritual Renewal session was so encouraging and I made a pretty lopsided - but happy - mug in ceramics. I was a little stressed and busy, but it was a good day.
These things were a nice change of pace from a streak of not-so-great days and nights. Nights full of too many tissues in the waste basket - overflowing to the floor, days spent not finishing my homework or sending those emails, trying every medicine or essential oil at my disposal, days feeling incapable or incoherent and nights sitting up, physically and mentally exhausted and wide awake literally crying out for rest.
We're wrapping up the third week of the semester - our first full week at that. This was the week where syllabus shock wore off, and we think we have everything under control until suddenly there's a meeting at 2:15 p.m. on Wednesday when you get out of class, chapel, class, class, class at 1:50 with no break in between. Or the one time you can Skype your parents is the one time your department has scheduled a mandatory meeting. Or someone keeps telling you about a problem they've had for two years and they keep asking you for advice but ignore it every time. Or your wing/floor has a retreat this weekend and a pick-a-date next weekend which is then followed by the week your first major research paper is due.
This is the week when things get hard.
You see, I love feelings and emotions. They're valuable and valid, and whether or not we want them to happen - they do. But the problem I have is I rely too much on my feelings: in relationships, in conversation . . . and in my work, especially . . . when things get hard or uncomfortable. I tell myself "I don't feel like doing my laundry," or "I don't feel like this is the right decision" or simply, "I don't want to." And I have to stop.
Because loving God and loving others and loving myself isn't always going to feel fun or good, it will hurt and be hard. It is hard and it does hurt.
I'm tired of saying "I know" when people show me truth in my life and notice things in my life that I need to change but do nothing. I'm tired of not loving others simply because I feel annoyed or like they may not deserve it. I'm tired of making excuses. And, I think some of you guys are tired, too.
So, my challenge for you and for myself is this: let's take this one day at a time and lean into the presence and strength of the Lord. If you were at Spiritual Renewal, you heard Alphonse speak about this in a few different ways - about communing with the Holy Spirit and abiding in Christ and allowing God to prune things in your life.
I don't want to say this to be preachy; I'm not saying this because I'm better than you. I'm saying let's work on this together. Because whether you're having a nice Thursday, where the DC is quiet and the food is good, when the sun is out but it's not too hot and your brother sends you cute sketches of Harry Potter characters or your Friday is off to a rough start, the Lord does not fail us and he walks with us.
