By Deanna Menke | Contributor
I am so grateful for having my heart broken.
He was hilariously tall. Green went best with his tan skin and dark curls. We went to high school together and read the same books, watched the same movies and had the same classes. He was an atheist.
Eight months later-after Christmas, birthdays, prom, even "I love you"s-we broke up. He sat on my porch and apologized for being a jerk (in less Taylor-appropriate terms). He was going off to college, and I had another year left at home, and we knew it wouldn't work. We had different beliefs, and we wanted different things.
It took me about a year and a half to get over it, but now I am incredibly grateful for the breakup.
At Taylor, if things aren't right the first time, it's not God's will. If we change our major, it's because we weren't listening hard enough to God the first time around. If we switch dorms, it's because God knows us better than we know ourselves. If we break up, the relationship was a result of selfish desires, and we didn't pay enough attention to God's plans for our lives. If it's a mistake, it must be a sin.
I have flown in the face of God's plan before. I have asked for my will above his and paid the price. But I have also prayed continuously through relationships, constantly asking God to make his will clear, and I've seen him telling me to proceed, only to be heartbroken months later.
When I studied abroad in England, one of my favorite places was St. Mary's Abbey. It's the ruins of a church amid the city gardens, and you can stand in its remains with your feet in the grass and admire the arches and the stonework.
Something so beautiful took an incredible amount of work to build and maintain, but it has actually been enjoyed as ruins longer than it ever was as a church. St. Mary's Abbey existed for 451 years before it was disestablished. For 476 years since then, the Abbey hasn't fulfilled its original purpose. It has found new life in its ruins as people come from around the world to visit and to remember.
God has created beautiful ruins in my heart. He has led me to relationships that have lasted only a brief time because I was meant to appreciate and learn from the ruins long after the relationships end. God's will has been for me to have my heart broken, and I know this because of everything I've been able to learn about him through those difficult times: that he is faithful, that his will is far better than mine, and that he will always love me.
At Taylor, we expect every good romantic relationship to end in marriage. We must remember that a good relationship with God will inevitably involve heartbreak because he will break our hearts for his purposes. No matter how hard we try, we will continue to make mistakes in every area, including our love lives. Of course, we should seek God's will in all things, but it's okay to go out on a limb and see what God will teach you through an experience. If we allow ourselves to fall, we allow God to catch us.
I am grateful for the ruins in my heart because through the brokenness, I see God's beauty.
