By Becca Jackson | Contributor
During my second semester after transferring to Taylor, I was hit with this accusatory question: "Don't you think you're being selfish?"
A group of friends and I were talking about our futures and what we wanted out of life. I talked about adventure and a career and eventual marriage to my long-term fiancé. Then I mentioned that I did not desire to have children and would most likely leave that experience to other people. My friends got quiet, and I was confused until someone posed that question: the question that undermined the authority of my own life choices.
Selfish? I had never thought of not wanting to have children as selfish, so I turned to the Internet. In one quick search that yielded over a million results, I found that this was a longstanding debate, with an almost 50/50 split among commenters.
There are countless people stating reasons why a healthy couple should procreate. Some of them say that it is a person's duty to have children so that the parent can be taken care of in old age and not be a burden on society. Others state that if educated, middle-class people have children, they are contributing more smart, middle-class people to society.
I had never considered these points of view before, but I was immediately turned off by them. These are the reasons that people are having children? To contribute to society? Because it's their duty? Although I highly doubt these are the actual reasons that people procreate (because when you ask parents why they had children, you never hear these responses), let's explore some counterarguments.
If we look at America today, we see countless people putting their parents in nursing homes, hiring live-in help for them, and generally passing the burden onto other people. It is not currently customary to actively take care of our elderly parents in any way other than financially. Through Social Security, the current working generation is paying for the retirement of older generations, and it is likely this cycle will continue.
It is also true that many childless people have been able to save up enough retirement money to provide for themselves until their deaths. Without children, it's easier to save money.
As for having children to contribute smart, middle-class people to society, no argument could be more repulsive. There are so many unwanted children in America and across the globe, and there are wanted children whose parents cannot properly provide for them. A childless person will have more resources to sponsor programs that facilitate these children, adopt or foster unwanted children and provide funds for furthering the education of these children. Shouldn't we be looking to help the people who are already on the earth rather than creating more to compete for limited resources?
These are logical reasons to support those who don't want a child, but there are personal reasons as well.
For me, there are two simple reasons as to why I don't and have never wanted children. The first reason is that I simply don't like children or being around them. The second reason is that I have the desire to help people and the world in ways that I could not were I supporting another human being. If I wanted to travel to the Middle East, Africa or South America to feed people, build irrigation systems or prevent rainforest damage, having a child would hinder me from helping the world on a large scale.
However, this does not mean that I don't want a family. I love my fiancé and I look forward to spending my life with him. Maybe we'll get a dog. And I value my current family and friends. They love and support me, and I love and support them in return. A child could not add anything to my life because I am complete in all that I have.
If that is selfish, then that is what I am.
