By Austin Lindner | Echo
I'll be the first to admit that I become fairly basic when October rolls around the corner. What can I say? I like my caramel macchiatos iced and my sweaters on point when that autumn breeze whips by.
However, one area where I will not conform is the institution of pumpkin carving. I refuse to believe that even in our modern age of technological innovations and Kim Kardashian memes, pumpkins are the only things we can think of to dismember with a knife. In my opinion, those chunky orange vegetables belong solely where they were intended-as flavoring for pumpkin spice lattes.
Don't be basic this Halloween. Put down those pumpkins but hold on to your steak knife. Here are a few items perfect for carving that are a little more creative.
Textbooks
Unlike pumpkins, textbooks don't come with any slimy seeds to remove or guts to scoop out-just long words and too much information. A silly face, the Trojan logo, an elephant in a Mercedes-the carving possibilities for textbooks are endless.
Here's a helpful tip: before you get started, dip your textbooks in water, as this will make the pages stick together and make the book easier to carve. Also, try to use your roommate's textbooks, since you paid way too much money for yours to throw away on some seasonal trend.
Important legal documents
Ever wish those pesky birth certificates saying you're technically from Paraguay and therefore not allowed to serve as President would just go away? I know I have.
That's just one of the reasons why legal documents make great carving material.
Between your proof of residence forms, tax sheets and citizenship certificates, you probably have opportunities to try a lot of different designs in case you mess up. And if you don't want to track down your own documents, just use your roommate's. They're probably just lying around in plain sight in a safe somewhere anyway.
Laptop computers
If you own a laptop in the 21st century instead of an iPad mini or a Razr cellphone, you're doing something wrong. Since laptops can't fit in your pocket, they are essentially useless, making them perfect for carving.
Most MacBooks are also ultra thin, making them relatively easy to put eyeholes and smiley mouths in. Test your design on your roommate's laptop first, and once you've figured out the perfect design and effectively destroyed his or her design in the process, you can move on to your own.
Mini-fridges
I don't really know the science behind blowtorches, but you might need one to carve this item. Mini-fridges are Pinterest-worthy carving options for a few reasons: they're basic, boxy and typically have a lot of surface area.
With six flat planes, there are many opportunities for different funny faces and spooky scenes. Mini-fridges are also probably the easiest non-pumpkin item to turn into a jack-o-lantern, since all you need to do is a stick a candle in the center, once you've blowtorched gaping holes into the sides, of course.
Again, make sure to use your roommate's mini-fridge. You're going to need yours for storing food and drinks, obviously.
Dorm furniture
Because wood is already so easy to carve, dorm furniture makes fall carving a cinch. Beds, desks, dressers-they all can be turned into a spooky skull or a scary tree with just a little woodworking and an extra sharp knife. Another cute idea is to just chop the furniture frames into little pieces and rearrange them to spell a silly autumn word, like "Hallo-scream" or "Fall-tastic."
As usual, I'd recommend using your roommate's furniture, since yours probably has a lot of books and clothes on it, and those would be annoying to move.
Happy carving!
I'll see you over in A&E, as I probably won't legally be allowed to write for Life & Times again.
