A pessimistic Valentine’s Day - The Echo News
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A pessimistic Valentine’s Day

Hate Valentine’s Day? Despise roses and chocolate? Keep on hating on this lovey-dovey holiday through the weekend with these suggestions.

Hate Valentine’s Day? Despise roses and chocolate? Keep on hating on this lovey-dovey holiday through the weekend with these suggestions.

By Angelina Burkholder

Roses. Hugs. Fluff. Chocolate. Pink. Kisses. XOXO. Valentine’s Day. Most people get all googly-eyed when February 14 is mentioned, but there are a few who feel the bile rising at the mention of lovey-dovey and loud smooches. Valentine’s Day haters. Even though Valentine’s Day is officially over, you know those mushy couples won’t stop celebrating just yet and neither should you.

If you’ve always celebrated your hatred for V-day by locking yourself away from all the festivities, do the opposite this year. Of course, instead of actually drinking the red punch at some cheesy party, accidently spill it on the sparkly white dress swooning over her man in the corner. Finish with a strong pat on your back.

Of course, there may not be mistletoe present this weekend, but you know there will be serious lip-locking everywhere. So, nominate yourself as the kissing police and patrol love this weekend. Everyone will be elated when you remind them to “leave room for Jesus!”

If all those activities are too public for you, then try conducting a private chocolate raid while everyone else is out playing footsie underneath the dinner table. Most students keep their doors unlocked, just sneak in and look for the ridiculous arrangements of bright red and pink flowers; there’s bound to be chocolate somewhere. Eat it all. You deserve a chocolate high. Just remind them that you’re encouraging intentional community with intentional chocolate raiding when their angry faces blame you.

Just because your Valentine’s Day activities may not include the normal lovin’ doesn’t mean you should be ashamed to celebrate the day in your own way. Instead of sitting in anger or tears this weekend, sit in a puddle of free chocolate and replay the look on punch girl’s face when she saw the red stain on her fluffy white dress. If one day of hating wasn’t enough, take heart, you still have a whole weekend left. Buy a super soaker at Wal-mart and drown out some lucky couple’s love and hairdos.

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